


Dear Douglas

by GnomeIgnominious



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Headcanon, I'm Bad At Summaries, essentially my interpretation of Douglas' childhood, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:44:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GnomeIgnominious/pseuds/GnomeIgnominious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Douglas receives a letter from someone he thought he would never see again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Douglas

It's a crisp November morning and Douglas is only twenty minutes late to work. A heavy frost has curled the grass and the last few brown leaves of autumn are piled in a damp heap at the end of the runway. They're on standby today and he's looking forward to a morning with the Guardian's cryptic crossword and an afternoon in the sky, putting one of the airfield's Cessnas through its paces. Carolyn, Arthur and Martin are all there already, their cars in a neat row in the car park. Douglas takes his time parking his car at a deliberate angle to theirs and saunters slowly towards the portacabin. 

He goes in and feels the rush of warmth from the electric heater as he takes off his hat and coat, taking care to hang them up properly on the hat stand next to Martin's. His captain is sat at his desk, studiously ignoring him, nose buried in an operations manual. Even Douglas' cheery greeting gets no more than a smile and a nod in return and Douglas wonders what he has or hasn't done this time. Perhaps he's forgotten to fill in his log book. Again.

He busies himself making coffee and it's only when he approaches his desk that he realises why Martin's grumpy. There's an envelope, addressed to him (in handwriting he doesn't recognise) and Douglas thinks that Martin has, as usual, jumped to the wrong conclusion and suspects Douglas of using their office for one of his schemes. Martin is, again, as usual, wrong. Douglas has no idea who the letter is from.

He feels Martin's eyes on him as he sits down, deliberately exuding nonchalance. He sips his coffee and folds the newspaper to the crossword, tucking a biro behind his ear. Only then does he allow himself to pick up the envelope and open it. Inside there is a letter, handwritten, on a single sheet of A4. Douglas unfolds it and begins to read.

" _Dear Douglas_ ," it says.

" _Firstly I apologise for sending this to your workplace, but I couldn't find a home address for you. I hope that won't be a problem._

_Secondly- well, there's no easy way to say this. I think you're my brother. After I turned sixteen, my parents told me I was adopted, but they didn't know much about my birth family. I was thinking about it again recently and I've checked the dates and as many official records as I can find and it fits. I know this will probably be rather a shock but if you can, please give me a call on 07865 143556. Maybe we can meet at some point?_

_I've sent the same letter to Ian. I found out you were adopted together but I don't know how close you are now._

_Yours very sincerely,_

_Raymond Whitehead_

_PS: my surname before adoption was Smith_."

Douglas feels as though the world has abruptly stopped and he is about to be flung off into space. He grips the table convulsively, hanging on for dear life until the blood stops rushing in his ears and he is able to think. 

"Douglas? Are you- is everything ok?"

Martin is speaking. Douglas forces a smile on to his face, though it comes out more like a grimace.

"Fine," he says, too quickly. "Fine." 

He pauses for breath. Thinks.

Martin is frowning and about to say something else but Douglas beats him to it.

"Actually, I've just got to make a phone call," and he's on his feet, letter in one hand and phone in the other. "I'm sure the operations manual won't miss me."

He takes two steps to the door and strides out into the freezing air. He reaches his car and he's suddenly sitting down, clutching the steering wheel, knuckles white, letter crumpled in his fist. He smooths it out, reads again, " _I think you're my brother... I think you're my brother... I think you're my brother..._ "

Douglas squeezes his eyes shut as the past comes flooding back.

He and his brother Ian are five years old (but I'm seven minutes older! Ian's voice reminds him) and being bundled into the car with Mum and Dad. Mum's ready to have the baby and they're on the way to the hospital near their home in north London.

Twenty six hours later and Douglas and Ian Smith are being introduced to their new little brother, Raymond. Their dad is talking to a doctor and from across the room Douglas can see tears running down his dad's face. Douglas has never seen his dad cry before. He and Ian cling to each other as a nurse takes Raymond away and the doctor leads Dad to another room. 

The next day they go home and Mum doesn't come with them. Dad is very pale and when they get home Auntie Janet is there and she takes Raymond away and kisses Douglas and Ian and says she'll see them soon. There are tears in her eyes.

The next week, in church in his best clothes, Douglas realises that Mum is never coming home. She's lying in the coffin at the front and soon after she gets put in the ground and Douglas feels so full and so empty at the same time that all he can do is cry himself hoarse. He hates churches and he hates his aunties who keep giving him tearful hugs and he hates himself but most of all he hates baby Raymond, who took Mum away. 

Six months later and Douglas hates Dad too. He throws a bottle at Ian and when Douglas tries to stop him he slaps Douglas in the face. Soon after, Auntie Janet comes back and for the next week they stay at hers. 

Douglas doesn't know how or why it happens but suddenly he and Ian and Raymond are being sent to the children's home. Ian and Douglas share a room with three other boys and Raymond lives with the babies upstairs. The other children are, by and large, horrible and they have the worst fights, biting and scratching and pinching each other, shouting, always shouting. Douglas almost enjoys himself because punching someone else means that at least he's not the only one hurting.

One day, Ian and Douglas are woken up early and Matron tells them to put their nice clothes on and they sit downstairs together on puffy chairs that are normally reserved for the grown-ups. A tall man and his wife come in and he introduces himself as Doctor Richardson and shakes Douglas and Ian by the hand. Douglas is awed and mildly terrified. 

Over the next few weeks, Dr and Mrs Richardson take them out more and more and Douglas slowly learns to relax and even like them. Mrs Richardson is very good at hugs, he finds. Eventually, Dr Richardson asks the boys if they would like to live with them and Ian and Douglas immediately have a silent conversation. In the end, they decide, anywhere is better than the home. So they agree and Matron helps them pack their things. They say goodbye to Raymond, who is by now big enough to crawl and has two little teeth coming through and start their new lives as Ian and Douglas Richardson.

Ian grows up to be a doctor, like Father. Douglas goes to university with Ian and studies medicine too, but his heart isn't it. He doesn't remember much about _Before_ (as he refers to it in his head) but he knows that his dad was in the RAF. So Douglas starts to apply to flight schools. This annoys his father no end and they have an enormous row, at the end of which his father tells him his dad was a drunk and not even a pilot, only a lowly mechanic who couldn't even be trusted to look after his own children. 

Douglas doesn't remember much about that night but he thinks that is the point where he threw a punch at his father and stormed out, determined to succeed as a pilot- and succeed he did. Douglas doesn't see any of his adoptive family these days and he had barely thought about trying to contact any of his family from _Before_. If Raymond really _is_ his brother...

Douglas jumps as his phone rings in his hand. The caller ID flashes up. It's Ian.

"Hello?"

"Douglas, it's Ian." His brother sounds as shaken as Douglas feels.

"I know." He pauses. "I take it you've- you've read your letter?"

"Yes." The silence hangs on the line.

"Do you think it's true?" Douglas blurts. "After all this time?"

"I want to believe him, Douglas. I really do."

"Let's meet him then." Douglas registers the desperation in his own voice. His suppressed grief and childish confusion wells up in his chest. "Please, Ian."

"I'll text him and arrange to meet. When's a good time for you?"

"Any time at all." Douglas gives a small chuckle. He can barely believe it's true- to even have the chance of seeing his baby brother, after all this time.

"Right." Douglas can hear Ian's smile down the phone. "I'll let you know when and where as soon as I do."

"Ok. Bye for now, then."

"Bye, little brother." Ian rings off and Douglas rolls his eyes at the old teasing endearment. 

He feels very odd indeed at the sudden thought that very soon he might be able to say those words too.

Barely two minutes later, his phone buzzes at a text from Ian.

" _10:30 am tomorrow at my house. Suggested somewhere neutral but mine will be easier to find plus it's midway between where you and he live. Ray says he's v excited to meet us._ "

A shiver of nerves runs through Douglas' body as he pulls up outside Ian's house the next day. He'd begged the time off from Carolyn, who had acquiesced surprisingly quickly, perhaps sensing how important this was to Douglas. Thankfully she'd let him off with the warning that while he was free for now, she wanted an explanation in due course.

He forces himself out of the car and walks up the drive to Ian's house. There's only one other car there so Douglas assumes Raymond hasn't arrived yet. The door opens before he can knock and Ian welcomes him in, greeting him with a rare hug.

"He's not here yet, then?"

"No. It's only quarter past, though."

They sit in tense silence for the next fifteen minutes. 

Douglas feels like he should make conversation but there's little to say. He and Ian don't talk often but are still close, by virtue, Douglas thinks, of having to stick together through their childhood.

Suddenly the doorbell rings and they both jump up. Ian, being slightly taller, beats Douglas to the door with his longer strides.

The door swings open to reveal a well-built man on the cusp of fifty, about six feet tall and greying at the temples. He has the same rounded jaw and dark eyes as Douglas and Ian's unruly fringe and the hint of a smile playing uncertainly round his mouth.

"Ian? Douglas?" his eyes glance between the two of them and his voice has the same smooth depth as Douglas', albeit with an incongruous (to Douglas' ears) Mancunian accent.

"Ian," Ian says, his voice shaking. "Come in, come in."

Douglas' eyes are wet and he tells himself it's just from the sharp breeze outside, even though Ian's shut the door.

"You're really him," he says and his voice sticks in his throat. He can't tear his eyes away from the man.

Raymond nods. "Call me Ray," and he sticks out his hand. 

Ian shakes and Douglas shakes and suddenly they're all three wrapped in a tight hug in the middle of Ian's living room, holding on to each other for dear life. Douglas never wants to let go ever again. 

Later, Douglas knows he will have to explain his absence to Carolyn and Martin and Arthur. 

And he's sure that Martin will never let him forget that Douglas started life with a _duh duh pffft_ name too.

**Author's Note:**

> Ian and Douglas are meant to be fraternal twins, but they still look and sound very similar. 
> 
> I don't know much about how adoption works, or indeed how it worked fifty years ago, so I've assumed that there weren't very good records kept of where children went and Ian and Douglas were only adopted together because they were twins. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
